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Negotiating so both sides win
Glamour
(October, 1997)
Page 62.
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People on opposite sides of the negotiating table tend to believe
their goals are in conflict even when they aren’t -- and that often
leads them to settle for solutions that are unsatisfying to both
parties, according to a review of research at Northwestern
University. "Assuming that the other person wants the opposite of
what you want can lead you to make premature, unnecessary
concessions," says Leigh Thompson, Ph.D., a professor at
Northwestern’s Kellogg Graduate School of Management in Chicago.
Her strategies for settlements that make everyone happy:
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Ask the other person what her priorities are: What do you
see as the main issues here? Which are most important
to you?
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Describe your ideal outcome. This is better than revealing the
minimum you’d accept (which could put you at an early
disadvantage) or making exaggerated demands to give yourself
bargaining room. Ideally, I'd like to work in the Denver
office and push the starting date back two weeks.
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Make two or three offers simultaneously: I’d be equally
happy with any of these scenarios. Which do you prefer?
Even if the other person doesn’t like any of your offers, asking
which one she dislikes least will give you clues about what she
might accept.
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Once you’ve reached a tentative agreement, mutually try to
improve on it. What if we took an extra day to think about
how we might make this even better for both of us? For
this strategy to work, it’s a good idea to stipulate-in
writing-that the tentative agreement is binding unless a subsequent
proposal is approved by both of you. 
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