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People on opposite sides of the negotiating table tend to believe their goals are in conflict even when they aren't -- and that often leads them to settle for solutions that are unsatisfying to both parties, according to a review of research at Northwestern University. "Assuming that the other person wants the opposite of what you want can lead you to make premature, unnecessary concessions," says Leigh Thompson, Ph.D., a professor at Northwestern's Kellogg Graduate School of Management in Chicago. Her strategies for settlements that make everyone happy:

• Ask the other person what her priorities are: What do you see as the main issues here? Which are most important to you?
• Describe your ideal outcome. This is better than revealing the minimum you'd accept (which could put you at an early disadvantage) or making exaggerated demands to give yourself bargaining room. Ideally, I'd like to work in the Denver office and push the starting date back two weeks.
• Make two or three offers simultaneously: I'd be equally happy with any of these scenarios. Which do you prefer? Even if the other person doesn't like any of your offers, asking which one she dislikes least will give you clues about what she might accept.
• Once you've reached a tentative agreement, mutually try to improve on it. What if we took an extra day to think about how we might make this even better for both of us? For this strategy to work, it's a good idea to stipulate-in writing-that the tentative agreement is binding unless a subsequent proposal is approved by both of you.